BLOG, NEWS, & ARTICLES
Welcome to my Blog Page!
How exciting to have my own blog!!! I am very appreciative of my son, Andrew, for creating this website and blog that I can actually use with ease, and I am delighted to have my daughter-in-law Joan’s beautiful lotus artwork gracing these pages. Writing an article every few weeks is my way of sharing with others the inspiring things I have learned along the way. These insights come from my own life as well as the wonderful clients who have taught me so much about living, the resilience of the human spirit and of what we are truly capable when we are in our truth.
Sometimes I will be writing about things I have experienced or read, or maybe just passing on a quote that seems to ring with truth and inspiration.
| Christmas Magic | |
|---|---|
| November 28, 2016 | |
| Finding Christmas Magic Amidst the Chaos The holiday season is upon us and with it comes so many messages from our society and old familial conditioning about what this time is supposed to look like and how we are supposed to behave. It is exhausting - if we allow it to be. I am always an advocate of following one's personal truth. That means living in integrity, and then when we act, doing so from a place of power and love. So during this auspicious season, perhaps more than any other time, it is an excellent time to think about how we really want to celebrate this time of giving and loving. How do we wish to honor Spirit, ourselves and our family and friends? (And, in that order of importance if you want to be really BOLD.) What will come up when we attempt to do this are lots of fear and resistance - it did for me! Thoughts like, if I spend too much I will go into debt, if I don't spend enough I will hurt or anger someone, am I supposed to buy Aunt Emma a gift, how much am I supposed to spend, what should my house look like - is the tree big enough??? Etc. These thoughts intrude on our peace of mind and good sleep and I believe are a good part of why this season becomes so difficult. What I have found so helpful and gratifying in response to these pressures is to sit down, take some deep breaths, calm the mind and focus on God, Spirit, your higher power, whatever you believe in, and relax. Then sit with each of these conundrums and ask yourself, "What do I really want to do in each of these situations. What is my heart's desire, what is my truth? What decision gives me inner joy?" Try making a few of these decisions from this place of centeredness and inner truth and guidance. It does not have to be done with every question you are wrestling with or being challenged by. But I guarantee you that every time you RISK following your heart and breaking free from the old conditioned expectations, responses and habits, you will be setting your heart and Spirit free. AND then be prepared to experience some real CHRISTMAS MAGIC!! I promise you. | |
| Gratitude, Grace, Generosity | |
| November 16, 2016 | |
GRATITUDE, GRACE AND GENEROSITY I recently had a synchronistic experience. I received two very similar teachings from two different individuals who came by their teachings independently of each other and in very different ways. One teaching came from Linda Howe who gleaned her wisdom from the Akashic Records. The other from renowned life coach, Tony Robbins. Linda said when the three virtues, Gratitude, Grace and Generosity are used together they become an Ascension Matrix - a way to rise above the difficulties of life and move into the clouds. Tony said that pairing Gratitude, Visualization and Generosity was the fastest path to positive life changes he knew of. Linda called Gratitude the thing that gives us MOMENTUM to move at Scape Speed. That's the speed we have to travel to break through into the next zone or level of our being. Feeling gratitude for all the conditions of our lives brings about change rather than stagnation. She said that with any situation in our life, if we can practice gratitude 51% of the time-- feeling we can see the good, the possible lessons in it-- we can and will move beyond it. Just the practice of being grateful for our many blessings lifts us into the clouds. Grace, she said, is the CATALYST - it further accelerates the process. Grace is mercy, goodwill, compassion - our spiritual fairy dust and here we need to only be aware of it. It is a quality of the Divine. Grace is the place where the infinite and imminent intersect. Grace facilitates our awareness of things like losing that job was really a blessing, or a parent being absent protected us from abuse. Look for it, as it is always available in our lives and it is amplified by our paying attention to it. Generosity is the ACTION required in this matrix. Give whenever you can. As we give, we lighten up. By setting the intention to be generous, we will find many ways to express it throughout the day and it will lift us up and fill us with a sense of love and purpose. Here is how Tony suggested we work with these principles. Each morning spend time remembering the things you are grateful for. Sometimes that is made easier by putting your hand on your heart, closing your eyes and feeling the people, conditions and blessings that enhance your life and open your being to joy. Then, if you can (don't force this), think of a difficult situation and see if you can find anything in it to be grateful for. Use this awareness of gratitude throughout the day. Next think about the things you would like to bring about in your life. Go deep and feel the kinds of things that are the desires of your heart. See those dreams becoming reality in as much detail as you can. While Linda called this piece Grace, I am thinking the ability to ask for what we want and to feel and visualize those desires of our heart is Grace. As you imagine those things you would love to fill your lives with, you can be inspired and filled with the joy and hope in their possibility-and feel the grace surrounding our dreams. Finally Tony advises to end this morning routine by taking some time to think of ways you can be generous during the day ahead. Think of loving acts of kindness, send wishes of love and light to people and situations that have been in your thoughts and on your heart. Set the intention to spread goodness throughout your day. If you do this, almost immediately you will feel the benefits. Spending just 15 minutes with these principles each day really does raise our level of joy and manifests our deepest desires. These principles and the use of them become even more crucial in our turbulent times. Sowing seeds of love and harmony and raising our own vibrations can and will do much to bring peace to the world. Perhaps it is the single most important, powerful thing we can offer the world and ourselves. | |
| Deep Soul Reading | |
| November 08, 2016 | |
| Deep Soul Readings What are they? Deep soul readings provide clients with a more in depth look at situations they may be grappling with but have been unable to accept or come to terms with. These readings are more spiritual in nature in that we say a simple prayer to God asking for help and understanding. In a deep soul reading you are able to ask questions about your situation and often questions will be asked of you in order to gain more clarity. People report a sense of being known and loved. People do not normally experience any spectacular phenomena. Instead it is a more subtle shift into a lighter dimension, where compassion and acceptance are dominant. People say they experience an increased sense of peace and well-being, and I notice that their overall outlook on their life seems to improve. These readings are not psychic or predictive of a future outcome, more they increase our capacity to understand a situation from a higher perspective and often find an appropriate action to take that will help with resolution or, at the very least, inner peace. I have been studying this kind of reading for more than a year and am happy to offer them to anyone who asks. Sometimes we will do both in a therapy appointment, sometimes only a soul reading. The client is in the driver's seat and can make that final determination. | |
| Playing Big | |
| July 04, 2016 | |
| The Meaning of Playing Big Playing small serves no one Playing big serves many Somewhere inside each of us is a greatness - a light of life that is the divine spark. It is a place that is free of the many self-limiting thoughts we have been taught along the way. That place is where our innate love, inspiration, freedom and joy indwell and it is the place from where we can make a life that is a true expression of our innate purpose. There is not a challenge, hurt or circumstance in anyone's life that is not there ultimately to reveal one's strength and internal power. If a circumstance shows you what you do not want, affirm what you do want. Ask for it and believe that those desires of your heart will come to you - as you release the small thoughts that serve no one, especially your own Self. Play Big! | |
| Codependency | |
| February 25, 2016 | |
| "When we look outside for self-definition and self-worth, we are giving our power away and setting ourselves up to be victims. We are taught to give our power away. Codependence or outer dependence. . .cannot fill the hole within; outside influences (people, places and things; money, property and prestige) or external manifestations (looks, talent, intelligence)can distract us and make us feel better temporarily but they cannot fill us spiritually." Robert Burney As a therapist, I truly do experience that codependency is one of the greatest obstacles to our healing. These learned patterns of behavior cause us to put the focus of our attention on the well-being and/or opinions of others instead of on ourselves for our truth and healing. For those of us with a long history of codependency, even knowing what our needs, desires and dreams are can be a struggle. So I am writing this article to delineate what codependence is, why it is so prevalent and what we can do about it. So the introductory quote and my first paragraph pretty much describes the dynamic of co-dependence. This term was originally coined in the 1960’s and described spouses of drug/alcohol addicts. Now the term has grown and includes a family system where there is any kind of addictive behavior - drugs, work, gambling, shopping eating, sex, raging, etc. It also includes any family system where there is any kind of abuse. And as it turns out, this describes most family systems in our culture. When a family is dealing with addictions, abuse or chaos, that dysfunction becomes the center of the family rather than the family members and their needs. This climate creates the codependent child because the sense of being in a secure, supportive and loving environment is not available to the child and so he/she will search out a way to be "okay", to be "safe." This generally means the child will shut down and/or try to please family members, disappear emotionally, sometimes even work out their unease by acting out. It is literally what causes us to leave ourselves behind in order to be loved and therefore safe in a chaotic family system. The rules of a dysfunctional family are (1) Do not think, (2) Do not feel, (3)Do not trust. Children are forces to deny their reality and thus become battered and broken. Safety and survival cues replace a child's natural internal reality and rhythms. And this is where the sacred wounds of "I am not enough", "There is something wrong with me", "I am a failure", or "I am nothing" are born and with them the "inner critic" who continually reminds us of our failings and thus keeps us from being a target in our world. It used to be that we would think of codependent people as people pleasers but now there are more aggressive forms as well as passive aggressive types. Whatever the form, the purpose is to try to control our outer world in order to manage our own feelings of anxiety and vulnerability. So here are some steps to be taken to break these destructive patterns and free ourselves. 1. Become aware of your inner critic or negative parent that controls your mental/emotional expression and sense of well-being by using blame and shame to stop you from freely expressing your internal truths. 2. Do some inner child work which is becoming aware of ourselves in a compassionate and loving way and asking ourselves questions like “Why am I feeling this way?, "Where did these behaviors and feelings first begin?", "Why do I feel so sad and depressed?" 3. We can go deeper by praying and affirming our true selves and asking the hurting part within us to express where in the body do I feel this pain? When in my early past did I feel this way? What had caused me to feel so distressed then. And finally do I have the courage, self-love and/or acceptance to start acting from a place of deeper authenticity? 4. One of the side benefits of doing this kind of work is that we can start to notice when others are reacting from a wounded place and thus stop ourselves from taking their behaviors so personally. 5. Paying attention to our dreams can guide us to a deeper relationship with our true self. 6. Journaling our life dreams, our hope and fears, our inspirations. Give that authentic being within you a safe place to express its truth. 7. Nature, art work, dance, yoga, meditation are ways to connect more deeply with ourselves. 8. Spend more time riding a bike, coloring, building with legos, sculpting, looking at an old family album. TURN YOUR PHONE OFF. It is a beautiful journey to discover who we truly are. Experiencing the unique qualities that we bring to this earth. Expressing our beings is a large part of living our life's purpose. | |
