BLOG, NEWS, & ARTICLES
Welcome to my Blog Page!
How exciting to have my own blog!!! I am very appreciative of my son, Andrew, for creating this website and blog that I can actually use with ease, and I am delighted to have my daughter-in-law Joan’s beautiful lotus artwork gracing these pages. Writing an article every few weeks is my way of sharing with others the inspiring things I have learned along the way. These insights come from my own life as well as the wonderful clients who have taught me so much about living, the resilience of the human spirit and of what we are truly capable when we are in our truth.
Sometimes I will be writing about things I have experienced or read, or maybe just passing on a quote that seems to ring with truth and inspiration.
| The Sacred Wound | |
|---|---|
| February 04, 2016 | |
| "Most of what has been learned along the way has involved an unlearning, a casting of images, illusions and myths that covered over and distorted transcendental capabilities." This quote by Robert Grant describes the loss of our light, love, power, sense of self and purpose when on our earth journey we are delivered blows to the true essence of our beings. Whether it is emotional, verbal, physical or sexual, or a combination of these experiences the traumas deliver to us the message that we are the antithesis of our true self. These messages attack the core of our beings, covering up our sanctity, and, thus, become sacred wounds. The sacred wound is the wound that causes us to turn away from ourselves - to leave ourselves and adopt a persona that is more to the liking of and approval of the people in our environment. Thus we lose ourselves becoming what we believe, on a deep level, to be a safer and more pleasing. We all need love to survive, especially when we are very young and dependent on our environments, so the sacred wound becomes a mechanism of survival. The sacred wound is a term that holds great meaning in regards to the transformational process so many of us are pursuing in an effort to be a more genuine expression of the truth of our being and soul. The sacred wounds are what get in the way of this unfolding in that they are born inside of us when experiences and traumas leave us with feelings like: I am not worthy of love; I am not good enough; no matter what I do, it is not enough; I need to be perfect to be deserving; I am not protected. They are the lies that we have adopted when we interpreted the pain of our experiences, internalizing and taking on false ideas about our true worth. This usually begin in early childhood. I say that because our earliest years are when we are the most ego-centric, thinking that we have caused all the chaos around us. Young children believe they make the good happen as well as the painful. It is magical thinking but appropriate to the young children. Remembering the times past when we left our true feelings and selves behind helps us to recapture those lost energies, traits, truths, gifts of our beings. A young child's father wants him to be an athlete. The child perhaps with a more artistic side leaves behind his/her true loves and talents in order to please his father. Of course, he may become miserable and not know why. Not only perhaps the sporting world is not drawing on his natural gifts and talents, but his attempts to win the love, approval of this most important figure in his life fail and he feels like a failure. Or, he has some talent and does well in sports but is left with a feeling of "something is missing" because the art that is part of his true gift is not being expressed. Another example is how a traumatic event (which happened to a former client) set her up to have many negative beliefs about her worth. When was she three years old she was playing in a shallow area of a river while the adults that were supposedly watching over her sat on the beach. Her mother was distracted and so she did not notice when the little girl lost her footing and began to be carried down the river by the force of the water. Fortunately another woman on the beach DID see the child's plight and rushed in to rescue her. The rescuer was pregnant and in the process she stubbed her toe which then began to bleed. The young girl remembers the sense of being carried down the river and no longer safe. She also remembers a vague but real sense of guilt over the woman's injury. What she took from that was that she could not depend on her family to keep her safe and that she was not important enough for them to really watch over her. To compound the problem, she internalized the woman's pain who saved her as her fault leaving her with the feeling that she was "too much" for people and perhaps even dangerous. Certainly she was left with an overall feeling of being unworthy of the care and attention she deserved. This experience was strong and she remembers the feelings very vividly. Unfortunately, this child went on to have other experiences in her childhood that replicated the feelings she experienced in this one, and so feelings of being unimportant and too much for people were reinforced. The impact of this trauma and other similar painful experiences seeped into all areas of her life as she grew up leaving her with poor self-esteem, guilt about receiving help from people and that she was not safe in the world. Unfortunately early wounds and traumas are interpreted as "I am bad or insufficient or unlovable" and lock us into irrational, habitual patterns of believing that we are responsible for the feelings, actions and thoughts of others - that their happiness is our responsibility and thus create some real fear about going into the world. These deep wounds become our sacred wounds and block us from believing in our worthiness and moving freely in the world. Also these are the times when we leave ourselves behind in order to garner favor with our world. We interpret incorrectly that we are lacking and try to become what the world needs us to be. For this child it was to withdraw and try very hard to care for others. But, we each have within us a sacred core of truth, integrity and light. When we are in alignment with that core, we shine brightly and bring to the world what we are divinely inspired to share. When early experiences tell us otherwise, we are blocked from being the true beauty and power of our essence. So here is the good news. The sacred wounds are sacred because they have within them the power and directional force to become the portals to the truth of our being - to our innate light and worth. It is through the healing of these old wounds and the deep and destructive misconceptions and beliefs they carry, that we are brought to the truth of ourselves. It is seemingly magical how quickly the path to healing emerges when we carry the intention to heal our deepest wounds. It is as if the Universe cannot wait to assist us to find the life of joy, creativity and love that is our birthright. What I witness in my own life and the life of my clients is that when we are willing to visit the pain of old traumas, we are in the process of bringing Light to that which has been shrouded in darkness and unconsciousness. These negative beliefs have become knee jerk reactions to challenges in our lives. The go to place is "oh I could never..." or "It is my fault that he/she is upset"... "I ruin everything" starts to lose its sense of hard truth. The sacred truths instead begin to stir within us and we begin to start allowing ourselves to feel and dream about what we truly desire and to feel the innate power of our beings. From the first steps of shining light on these old, self-limiting beliefs, the process of transforming our erroneous beliefs and self-concepts into the truth of our sacredness begins. That light has tremendous power - far more power than the darkness that once enshrouded it. But the dark, erroneous beliefs must be challenged in order to lose their power to paralyze us and hold us hostage. We then begin to see what fears and misconceptions have held us back and that, by an act of will, we can challenge these untruths. When we start from a place of believing that we are divinely inspired creatures, each with our own purpose and light to shine in the world, we can more easily identify the thoughts/beliefs within us that do not support the greatness of our essence. It is from this place that we start the detective work, asking where did these very limited and negative beliefs come from. This is shining the light of truth on our pain. Allowing ourselves to feel that pain and asking, "Where did this first start in my life." We can ask for divine assistance and allow whatever form it takes to help us move through this process of deconstructing the pass so the light of our beings can shine. Help may come in many ways. The words in a book, something a friend says. Often inspiration and truth will come to us in our dreams. Journaling can start this process. Finding a coach to hear your story is also helpful. I can tell you, wherever you begin, if the intention is strong and heartfelt, a way will be found and a new path will open up before us. It will be one that is not dictated by fear, but by a real deep belief in ourselves and that we have a unique and special purpose on this earth. | |
| Emotions | |
| September 30, 2015 | |
| "Emotions are energy: E-motion = energy in motion. It is supposed to be in motion, it was meant to flow." ~Robert Burney "The Dance of Wounded Souls" When our emotions can flow we experience the freedom of being ourselves and of knowing who we truly are. Sounds simple enough, but unfortunately our culture has made it so difficult to feel what we feel and express it without experiencing fear, guilt and/or shame. The truth is that our feelings are pure and real, the problem is that we are constrained and restricted from actually experiencing them. Very early in our lives we are given messages that keep us from feeling and expressing the truth of our selves. We are taught that little boys do not cry and good little girls do not get angry. We teach our children that they should be seen but not heard. We are taught that to give voice to our desires is selfish. In this environment children develop a false persona, a self that is designed to keep them/us safe in the world. This is the root of codependence. We are taught to express ourselves based on what the environment wants and can tolerate. And children do it, because it is safe and keeps them from harm - psychological and/or physical. All to often, for a child, it is necessary to develop a false persona to survive. A well-known and contemporary psychologist remarked on what a shame it is that children are not born with the level of emotional independence that a teenager has. If that was the case and an adult acted in a way that was abusive or demeaning, the young child would say, "Whoa, this guy has a problem." Instead the child's response is, "What did I do to or say to make this person so angry? I better not do that again." And so the process of shutting down and repressing our emotions is born. And in that process, we lose ourselves and the ability to be true to ourselves. Want to work on turning that around? Journal how you feel about your day, a situation, a memory, a person or even a dream. Allow yourself the freedom to express. Feel those feelings in your body and let them out. If you worry about someone finding your writings, tear them up once you have finished. What a great habit to develop: The habit to feel the truth of our beings. And if you do not know how you feel, if it feels confusing and vague. Write about that. And see where that takes you. One place you will likely go is deeper into yourself - and that is a very good thing. That is how we begin to awaken. | |
| Who are we? | |
| September 30, 2015 | |
| "Our belief in a limited and impoverished identity is such a strong habit that without it we are afraid we wouldn't know how to be. If we fully acknowledge our dignity, it could lead to radical life changes. It could ask something huge of us. And yet some part of us knows the frightened and damaged self is not who we are. Each of us needs to find our way to be whole and free." ~Jack Kornfield, The Wise Heart | |
| The Age of the Internet | |
| September 28, 2015 | |
| Here is a quote that I find quite beautiful: "Let yourself be drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will never lead you astray." ~Rumi Years ago my dearest friend, Susan, and I searched everywhere for books about spirituality and growth. We were seekers, but there were few if any books to be found. This was maybe forty plus years ago. Now books on growth, healing and awakening are everywhere. The internet is filled with classes to help us become our best selves. It is a great time to be on the planet as a shift in human consciousness is occurring and it seems to be happening at the individual soul level, one soul at a time. | |
